Entry nº 16: Letter to my father

To my dear father:

Hi dad, I hope you are fine wherever you are, I`m writing this letter to tell you a lot of things that I couldn`t tell you before your departure. I think that may be God did not want me to tell you this on earth, perhaps His plan was to join us on heaven and to keep us together for the eternity living in paradise as the father and daughter that we never were in our mortal life. That is why I`m not sad any more, I console myself thinking that when I die I`ll be with you and you are waiting for me up there.
I want you to know how much I love you despite you were so far from me since I was a little child and how much I´ve missed you. I missed you most when you as my father were supposed to be sharing with me, in those moments when every father should acompain his daughter and you weren`t there.
Now I miss you most than ever and I know you won´t come back but I think of you always. I try not to forget your face, your voice, your smile and your that particular appearance of yours. When I look at me on the mirror I see you, everybody has always told me that I look like you.
I want to tell you also that I`m not angry with you, I love you and will always do.
Please, don`t be angre with me for not have been next to you when you left this world. It wasn´t my fault, your other sons and daughters never told me, may be because I they were jealous. I don´t know what happened with them and I don´t know if I will be able to forget them once.
Forgive me also because I haven`t gone to visit your tomb yet, I really want to go but I fear I could see them and I do not feel like speaking to them yet because I think I won´t control myself so we will probable have an strong quarrel.
I just wanted to say good bye and I love you. You will always be in my heart. I will never forget you. You will always be with me. I am sorry for haven´t told you this before but I know you knew.
Good bye dady, lots of kisses for you . I know you are under the care of our Lord and I know we will be together again .

With love, your youngest daughter.