Entry 13: My description of chaos (corrected version)

Chaos in my life is something that is present in those moments when I feel that I have no way to run o that I can not deal with my duties and obligations alone and I know that nobody else will do them for me, so it feels like if I would be suffocating, as if I could not breath because I am inside a dark box which is closed and there is no way of going out.Chaos desperates me,often it is a situation in which I am running against the clock because I have to be ready or to arrange everything and there is no more time to do it.
Frequently it happens when I am running out of Money and my debts come all together just the day before they are due, or when I have to take care of my houswork, and and at the same time I have too much homework delayed to do or to study for several exames and as if it was not less I have to solve personal problems everything in only one weekend because next Monday will be the dead line date.These kind of exasperanting moments make me furious, worried and crazy creating a terrible confusion in my mind. What is worst is that I end up rowing with everyone around me, blaming for my frustations the person next to me, who is almost always my husband.Chaos in everyone´s life appears with the shape of a shadow that devours the peace and tranquility of our lives putting everithing upside down.
But in some occations chaos is the consequence of our mistakes as a result of our faliures to deal with our own goals.